Talk to your specialist before trying cannabis as it still is illegal in most states especially if you test positive in a drug test. This also doesn’t work for all types of epilepsy. Works best for those who were first diagnosed in their childhood. You could feeling scared due to the lost of control or a change in your seizures as how your seizures manifest can change over time. Hope this helpful and also that you can find a solution to this problem.

It is odd that each and everyone of us with epilepsy seem to have slightly different seizures, even if we have the same kind of epilepsy. Our seizures are unique, as if they were a fingerprint. Learning to deal with your specific seizure characteristics are and always will be a battle. You can allow your seizures to control you, moreover, scare you or take arms against them and fight! There was a time when I really didn't care if I lived or died, in fact, I truly wanted to die. The fight seemed too overwhelming and frustrating. I lost my business of 12 years, my wife and I were separated and nothing appeared to be a shining light in my future. Do you feel that tomorrow will be no different than today, maybe even worse? I cannot and will not tell you what you should or should not do about the problem at hand. Although, I can tell you that you have the power to overcome this problem and become a stronger person because of it. Brynnie, when the monster shows up at your door, and you begin to feel fear, remember that this too shall pass. The fear itself is just an illusion not reality. Love you, kiddo.

At the risk of sounding like a pothead I can only tell you: try Cannabis. It's the best medicine for people with seizure disorder/epilepsy. Period. I still take my prescription meds but I weave some cannabis into my life every few days or so and my episodes are way less frequent and less intense

Try not to feel disgusted because you cannot describe your episodes. I have had epilepsy for nearly 60 years and I still struggle to describe my episodes. I hope this does not upset you even more because this is not my intention. I just meant to mention that it is not unusual for people with epilepsy to have difficulties finding the words to describe their episodes. I still fear my episodes. My approach has always been to remember the times when I feel well. Try not to reproach yourself. Keep smiling and stay positive. Very best wishes. Chris.

@A MyEpilepsyTeam Member as seen in other answers, do see a professional about the dreams. It won't always work, but it gives you a higher chance of handling the scary part of it. It's not my place to suggest who, what, or where. I know about having suicidal thoughts, but even seeing a psychiatrist didn't stop it. The stop came upon neurologist insisting no generic form on a medication. So, a real seizure or epilepsy professional is possibly needed. May God be with you.

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