Dating…when To Mention Epilepsy?
I was diagnosed while with a very compassionate partner. I get absence seizures. Now, after almost a decade, I’m single and 31 and have no idea how, or when to tell a guy I have epilepsy. So brains trust 😉, I’m relying on you for dating tips!
What should I say? Wait until the X date or rip the Band-Aid off early and “so there’s something I need to tell you..”?
In my mind I’m expecting to be ghosted, dumped quickly, and if I attend dinner, asked why I don’t drive, or mid date pulling out a… read more
When im intrested in someone, amd end up staying the night with them ESPECIALLY i tell them cause i have seizures in my sleep amd i dont want to scare them lol and its barrasing for me. So i just get it done and over with. Its easier on me and then they know how to care for me as well
So I asked the religion question so I could hear your personality. I was just wondering how blunt you wanted.
Growing up with this . I made it a habit that everyone I knew , was aware of the situation. Epilepsy was part of my every day life. I got to a point where I was sick of having to lie to explain seizures. I think you would find out who is worth spending time with. People who think they are doing you a favor just for being your friend are not worth it. I got sick of that. Find someone who does not flinch when they find out. Better yet they say I don't know much about Epilepsy. Tell me what I need to know but it doesn't change anything.
Never hide the information
I asked my husband his opinion. He says by the end of the first date. If I hadn't told him about my seizures when I had a grand Mal he may have gotten scared off.
Then he had a brilliant statement my husband said " well if you open up about your Epilepsy , hypothetically he may answer me too. Or my my family member does"
FYI.
@A MyEpilepsyTeam Member congratulations on your marriage, how wonderful! Honesty 100% - I would never keep it from someone for too long. Just timing, and I wonder how open and educated men are these days.. there's still such a stigma. How religious? Interesting...... I shall not lie if that's what you're thinking :) I am not religious myself but would never insult religion, out of respect to older family members and friends who still are. Each to their own.
To answer your question about how I told about having Epilepsy, we were kind of friends at first, (aka he was a friend of a friend) then a group of us went to an event and ended up in some sort of carnival funhouse that had flashing lights. I was covering my eyes and said something to the effect of "aw crap now I'm gonna have a seizure" in a joking way - my seizures were much more controlled then. That was very situational so you will probably have to find the best way for you.
I would go with ripping the Band-aid off early. That way you know what kind of a person you're dealing with, respectful, compassionate, trustworthy, or unreliable and afraid of challenges. Dating doesn't have to be "out to dinner" my husband's and my first date was walking around a pop-up fair. Sounds lame I know but it was actually kinda sweet. Good luck with your endeavours!
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