I do but I firmly believe that God has His reason for me getting seizures when I did. I look at those around me and the path that they followed, I could have been going down a road that would lead me to the way of destruction and even if I could have anything in this world it wouldn't be worth it if I should lose my soul. And being disabled has made me think about where I want to go

John, why ponder what might have been? It just makes us disappointed and unhappy with ourselves and our lives, and really hurts our ability to live today. Don’t get me wrong, I am as guilty as the next person, of self disapproval or pity. But, as my therapist keeps telling me, and I know in my heart, worrying about yesterday takes away our chances to enjoy and make use of the day today. And if you think about it, today is precious, because we really don’t know if there’ll be a tomorrow.

I have the same questions and longings, about how things would be “if I had or hadn’t.” But the question is moot now, and I am constantly reminding myself of this. “Carpe diem,” seize the day, as William Shakespeare said, and people still repeat today. Some things never change! 😉👍

You know the Apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh to keep him humble.But it doesn't say what it was.But the descriptions sounds like a neurological disorder.He kept praying for GOD to take it from him.It described fatigue afterwards.But he had spiritual gifts that kept him very close to GOD.When we are the weakest,we are spiritually the strongest.Our epilepsy is not a curse ,even though it can kill us.But a blessing in disguise.It is how we look at our lives that makes a difference on how we handle our epilepsy.Everyday that we wake up is another day closer to GOD.And a testimony that GOD can use anything for HIS GLORY..EVEN WHEN WE DON'T THINK EPILEPSY IS A THING THAT GOD USES.

I always wonder what if God did not have this set for me. I also wonder if I am going to find out if this was my purpose or if it is leading to something else while still on earth.

Positively I always tell my self and try to find it:
There is a Positive in every negative!
You can look at every negative situation and find something good that either happened then or occurred later because of that negative time. It’s my way of staying positive.

You know,It is a supernatural force;a GOD that keeps us going everyday.Not the what ifs.We just have to wake up everyday and count our blessings because they far outweigh our problems, situations,and circumstances with our EPILEPSY. WE CAN'T KEEP LOOKING AT THE WHAT IFS.BUT KEEP IN THE PRESENT MOMENTS.BECAUSE every moment we live without a seizure is a 🎁 PRESENT a GIFT from GOD to live like there's no tomorrow.And we have to do that the very next day and everyday we wake up.